All his life, a per­sonal friend of mine has been strug­gling to cope with his trou­bled past. One of three sib­lings, his child­hood was rid­dled with abuse by his irre­spon­si­ble father, a man who seemed to almost take delight in phys­i­cally and ver­bally assault­ing his family.

Now in his late 40’s, my friend, the youngest of his three sib­lings, has quite obvi­ously moved out, and escaped the phys­i­cal clutches of his abu­sive old man. His prob­lem, though, is that he can’t seem to shake off the ghosts of the past — his low self esteem and emo­tional dam­age have been caus­ing prob­lems with his health, rela­tion­ships, and even his career at a con­struc­tion firm.

But I knew he could be helped. So a few days ago, I called him up and asked him to write a sim­ple letter.

This let­ter, known as a ‘For­give­ness Let­ter’, would heal that stub­born emo­tional scar for good. It would wash away the sins of the past, and make him a new man. A fresh start, if you will.

After lis­ten­ing to my instruc­tions, he decided to give it a try. Here is what he wrote:

My Friend’s For­give­ness Letter

Dear Dad,

You must have had your hands full with me as a kid. Like, remem­ber the time me and Mitch got stuck in a tree while you and mom were out buy­ing gro­ceries? Or the day I got in a fight with that bully in fourth grade? You had to come and pick me up from school. I knew you’d be angry. And at times like those, you had every right to be.

But you were angry pretty often. Even at times you shouldn’t have been. Like on those nights you came home drunk, long after mom and the rest of us had cleared the din­ner table. You’d ask us where the food was, and you got pretty upset when we told you there wasn’t any.

I just want to say that I for­give you for that.

I also remem­ber the times you refused to pay for our school trips. So I sat at home when my class­mates went to places like the beach, the the­ater, the zoo. I’d see you going off to the dog races not long after that, telling us you’d come home with a big win­ner that night.

I feel no hatred towards you, and I for­give you for that too.

In fact, I bear no ill will for every­thing you did. The times you laid your hands on us and mom. The times you told us we were worth­less.  The times you for­got my birth­day.

I for­give you.

I know that deep down you loved us. Despite every­thing you did, you’d still take us out for hot dogs some­times. We went fish­ing. You gave us good advice. Told us to be true to our­selves. I even remem­ber the kisses you gave us before we went to bed.

But nobody’s per­fect. And I hope that after all we’ve been through, you’ve learned just as much as I have. I’m still here for you. Because no mat­ter what’s been said and done, you’re still my dad.

Yours Truly,

George

*Names changed to pro­tect identities

That, my friends, is a For­give­ness Let­ter, and it is more pow­er­ful than you could pos­si­bly imagine.

After writ­ing it, my friend told me he felt a gigan­tic weight lift­ing from his shoul­ders. Almost instantly, he felt bet­ter about him­self. He’s now more opti­mistic about his job, is start­ing to see all his old friends and the last I heard, he’s think­ing about going back into the dat­ing game!

Is it hard to believe that one sim­ple let­ter could really do so much? Prob­a­bly. That’s why I want you to try it for yourself.

You don’t have to be in as much pain as my friend for this let­ter to work. Maybe you had a small dis­agree­ment with a friend. Maybe you’ve been feud­ing with an in-law. Maybe you’re upset with your boss. It doesn’t mat­ter. No mat­ter how big or small the prob­lem is, the For­give­ness Let­ters will do won­ders for you.

How to Write Your Own For­give­ness Letter

So here’s how to write your very own For­give­ness Let­ter. Don’t worry, there are only 3 easy steps:

1. Accept Responsibility

Start with accept­ing respon­si­bil­ity for the rela­tion­ship with the per­son you’re writ­ing the let­ter to. Don’t vic­tim­ize your­self, and don’t blame the other per­son for get­ting you into the sit­u­a­tion you’re in now.

2. For­give them for all that they’ve done

This is the real meat of the let­ter. This is where you for­give the per­son for all that they’ve done. List out every­thing you for­give them for, if you feel like it. Stay sin­cere with every­thing you say, and try not to be sarcastic.

3. Wish them all the best

End your let­ter on a pos­i­tive note by wish­ing them well, and express­ing your hope for a bet­ter future.

So go ahead and give it a try. If you want, you can post open For­give­ness Let­ters here in the com­ments sec­tion of my blog. Or if you want to keep it pri­vate, just leave a com­ment let­ting me know how it worked for you.

I can’t wait to hear how for­give­ness has released you.

ps. It’s advis­able not to use the real names of those you will be talk­ing about.