i jenna need to fogive myself before i can forgive the others i need to forgive, i need to forgive myself for not bieng a good house wife, i jenna forgive myself for bieng a spoiled brat. i forgive myself for saying harsh things to get under your skin. and i forgive my self for emotionaly connecting with others.

im taken the strength that i have to forgive myself. and im taken the strength within my heart to forgive you as well, as the mother of our children and ur spouse i forgive u for the lies u have told me, the connection you made, i forgive u for the anger u have showed and i forgive u for ignoring my needs in the past years.

with forgivness i see a family who is going to have more good times. then the bad times

We just found out that your cancer spread and because of your age and health, treatment is not advisable.

As Christians, we are all blessed to know you now have a personal relationship with the Lord and have accepted Jesus as your savior and that one day, we will all see you again.

We do know that when we do, you will not be the Father we remembered. You will be the man God created you to be, the Father we should have known.

We take comfort in that Dad, for we will finally get to hug you and not feel that strange feeling anymore.

We are writing you this letter because it will be important to know that before you died, we shared our feelings with you, and maybe it will offer you some sort of peace as you live out the rest of your time here in earth.

Dad.. We forgive you for the unspeakable actions you inflicted on us girls. We really do Dad forgive you. Your actions of sexual abuse caused us girls to suffer in great depths, beyond what words can convey here in this letter to you.

Because of your abuse, we lost a Father who we could have ran to and felt secure in his arms. To feel that pure love a father has for his daughters. We lost our innocence and gained guilt, shame, rejection, ugliness, self worth, anger and bitterness. These feelings we’ve gained, have followed us all throughout our lives. They affected who we could have become and robbed us of what we could have enjoyed.

Your Daughters have waited for years for you to make it right, and I am not sure you really can do that, but at least to recognize the damage you caused, to admit and validate our feelings and to seek our forgiveness would have maybe help in our healing process.

We are not holding out hope that this day will come, not here on earth anyway, but one day it will. Your Daughters will all stand before you in Heaven. We all will be different. The wounds will all be gone, the pain and fear, the guilt, the shame, all gone. And we, your Daughters stand before you, as the Daughters God blessed you with, looking at the Father we should have had. We all will stand there face to face and for the first time hold one another in the purest way, the way a Father is meant to hold his baby girls.

I know this letter will bring you pain, but at the same time, I pray it will comfort you, knowing we have forgiven you..

Our prayer is that before you go home to be with the Lord, you can make it right with us…

We love you Dad, and we forgive you..

Your Daughters, Kathleen, Donna, Karen and Sandra

I keep trying to convince myself that I am fine, and that I've moved on and healed from the emotional scars of our relationship. But the truth is I haven't, and I really hadn't forgiven you like I thought I did. Everything started out fine until you became a jealous obsessive wreck. You began asking intrusive questions about past partners, and then when you didn't believe my answers, you began having your friends spy on me. You called me names like idiot, "town bike", and even questioned my sincerity when I said you were my first. You accused me of lacking passion when I didn't get intimate with you when really it was just the fact that I felt like an emotional wreck and disconnected. The thought of intimacy with you disgusted me and to this day, I still struggle with those memories of doing it just because I thought if I showed you how I felt physically, then you wouldn't question my sincerity. I felt defiled and disgusted with myself and am working towards rebuilding that part of me back to health.

Your cursed at me, damaged my property, and you were emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells with you. That any moment, I had to watch what guy I talked to because you would misconstrue it. You said it was because you loved me so much, but now, I realize it was insecurity. I blamed myself for it, feeling like if I had just been honest or open, that it wouldn't have been this way. But now I realize, it wasn't me, and no one deserves to be treated this way regardless of what they do.

As hard as it is for me to do, three years after the fact, I forgive you.

I forgive you for the name calling, the property damage, the emotional, psychological and verbal abuse, the manipulation, the aggravation and the pain that you caused. I understand that some of it stemmed from your own childhood abuse. You didn't deserve that abuse, and I didn't deserve your abuse.

And as I forgive you, I must also forgive myself for being so hard on myself all of these years. The dynamics of relationships and abuse are complex, but for so long, I was so hard on myself for staying through such a bad time in my life. I realize I did it because I cared and felt that I could somehow try to save you. However, I realize that in my attempts to "save you", I lost myself.

Sometimes, I still cringe at the thoughts of our situation, but I feel blessed to be where I am now, and hope that you are in a good place as well. Only time and prayer will completely heal me, but I feel this is a good start to lifting this burden off of my chest and healing. I wish you the best.

Lia

Like you, I went through battles of hurt, pain and anger with similar abuse. I went through the after affects since then and experienced the same as you in the inability to express forgiveness. I am here to tell you, you can do it. Go in a room, close the door, and lay on the floor. Give it all to God. Tell Him He knows how you felt and still feel because of these things that happened, because He was there with you. GIVE IT ALL TO HIM. SURRENDER it ALL to HIM. RELEASE it to HIM. Say, Lord, I give all of this hurt and pain to You. Help me forgive this person (persons) and help me encourage their forgiveness so that they see His love too. Allow God to work in you to heal your pain. Allow Him to replace that pain with his unconditional, everlasting LOVE. Then you will be able to write your forgiveness letter(s).

DO NOT be sorry for being born. You were not responsible for what happened to you – but you are responsible to lean on, trust and rely on God and Christ. He is waiting for you to come to Him so he can heal you and help you!!

God Bless You, sweetheart! I hope and pray this helps you and that you find comfort and strength and healing in Jesus.

Aside from meditation, I am a massage therapist and I like getting massage but I like giving it almost as much. In order to give a good massage the therapist must be relaxed themselves or the client will feel it. So, being relaxed and in flow is an essential, which is why I love it so much.

I also relax when playing with my dog in the backyard. No worries that you may look like a silly idiot--the dog could care less!

I try to stay as relaxed as possible throughout the day. Practicing being in the now and self hypnosis work well.

I honor you, Burt. Blessings.