Comments on: The Forgiveness Letter

By: Gilbert Oliver

Gilbert Oliver — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:57:32 +0000

I have read most of the forgivness letters and they are very moving (feelings wise) This is a wonderfull idea, the first letter in my opinion was the best of all. Personally I have to write one myself to a love one. Would not be able to post it, as is very personal. But will let you know of the results. Thank you for your help.

By: Pamela Murawski

Pamela Murawski — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:14:45 +0000

Mom,

I accept full responsiblity for our relationship. I do not blame you anymore.

I forgive you for not loving me in the past, critisizing me, ignoring me, shoving me away, treating me like a child when I was an adult, always saying you are changing I think finally, pinching me, hitting me, abusing me, listening to others and talking to others when spending time with me, not caring what I have to say, favoring others in the family, talking behind my back, calling my oldest daughter to find out how I am and not calling me, back stabbing me, gossiping about me, slandering me, taking me to doctors when I was not sick, making me afraid of my dad, yelling at me, threatening me, saying you would put me away in a crazy bin, plotting against me, trying to take my energy, trying to take my place and hating me, and for never being the mom I needed to love me.

I forgive you for all of it.

Love,

Pamela

By: Allen Lowe

Allen Lowe — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 00:01:19 +0000

I can\'t wait til he goes on tour again!!!! Im definitely in there!!! I hope they takin a break. They need time away from each other.

By: Cervical Cancer Symptoms

Cervical Cancer Symptoms — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:20:47 +0000

Thanks for responding and Happy Valentines, also.%d%aNo, I have not seen a doc about the gallbladder issue. Having a secondary bacterial infection was a concern. But, since I am self-emloyed and have no health insurance, having that investigated has been put off. Since my symptoms were not incapacitating, my approach has been to attack any potential infection with natural remedies and have seen improvement. I suppose the possibility of lymphoma just scares me more. But in my research, I haven't been able to track down symptoms specifically for cancer invading lymph nodes from the cervix.

By: Sue

Sue — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:32:24 +0000

Linda,
I can relate to your situation with your mother my mother was also narcissistic and she would malipulate by using guilt. It took me awhile but I stood up to her and told her that she was not going to make me feel guilty because I had no reason to. She has passed on and it may be awlful to say but I don't miss her. She was never one to offer support or a person I could talk to because she always brought the subject back to her. She was never wrong and if you challenged her she would blow up big time. It's not easy living with a know it all.
My son is the same way, I must have really done something bad in a past life to have to live with two narcissistic people. I'm not so sure about my husband but he alway feels he is right about everything too, but he doesn't act as bad as my mother did or my son. But my son and husband have really gone at it a few times neither one willing to concede to the other.
By the way they act I am the dumbest person that ever lived. But I know better, it doesn't do any good to try to discuss anything with them because it's impossible to have a rational conversation.
Besides that I am going to do the letter because I don't believe in holding in anger towards anyone, after all I am the only one being hurt by it.

Sue

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 17:26:22 +0000

This is a letter of forgiveness to my Step Dad and myself.
Dear Dad I am struggling so hard to be able to forgive you fully for all the things you said and did to me since I was a child. I just dont seem to be able to get rid of the memories from the age of 2 and now I am 50!!!
that is a long time to hold on to so much hurtful stuff, but I realise now that the only one it is hurting is me!! all those years of vervbal and sexual abuse from the age of 2yrs to 21yrs then you died thats 19 years of being terrorised and it doesnt go away that easy.I so badly need to erase all those years and this year I am going to move on, I need to for me.I just want you to know that I dont hate you I never have done I hope you are reading this from the other side of the world you are in now. I often think that if you were alive now you would be locked up for many years for what you did to me and our family. I used to feel so guilty But I have nothing to be guilty about I was only a child YOU were the ADULT.The only thing that kept me sane for years was is the thought that you must have been sick to abuse me like that I was only a baby when you started and I was so afraid of you.For years I could never understand why Mam never did anthing about it,But now I realise that she just wasnt strong enough to stand up to you she was terrified of you too and just hadnt the guts to kick you out of our lives, Mam was a good woman and I love her so much, and now she has passed on too and I miss her so much, before she went she was terrified of meeting you on the otherside I'm just sorry I didnt know what I know now, I could have put her mind at rest.But I know she is happy now.And I have made a promise to myself that I will never ever have fear in my life like that again. But you know what DAD!! "I FORGIVE YOU" I also forgive Mam for not being stronger, and most of all I forgive myself for letting you put us through that back then. I am a stronger person now and I am able to stand up for myself But its taken me 50 years to be stronger Thats a hell of a long time.I fogive you and I truly hope you can forgive yourself and I wish you the very best.Its time for me to move on and get on with my life and live it as I want to live it myself.So I am letting the past go,and I am going to live in the now. And just because I forgive you It doesn't mean what you did was ok because it wasnt!!!! because it affected me for 48years and I am not going to let it affect me anymore.I also Forgive myself for feeling guilty when there was no need for me to be guilty.I forgive my uncle Mickie and Dickie for abusing me when I was very small.Dickie I was only 3yrs old when you molested me But I forgive you. Mickie I was only 10yrs old when you molested me and I forgive you too I also forgive myself for letting you do this to me. And Mr Doran my school teacher I forgive you for having your hands all over me.I forgive myself If I ever hurt anyone in my life It would not be intentional.and I realise now that so many people have been through so much more than me but all these things have made us grow stronger and made us better and loving people. I also forgive myself for beating myself up over all this for all these years and for not loving the person I am, and for thinking that I was not good enough. I am finally learning to love who I am and learning to change the bits I dont like about myself so that I can be a better person and give the love I feel inside me to others freely.Everybody needs to be loved and I am no different I am very much loved and I deserve to be loved the same as everyone else. When I started to write this letter it was the first time I ever started to feel angry, But maybe I needed that to release, Then as I got further and further the anger was completly gone and I feel at peace with myself for the first time ever I finally think I have achieved letting go of the past so now I can move on.

Burt thank you so much!!! I have many of your programmes but havnt listened to them much yet, I have been searching for something to help me to release the past and now I have found it!! I feel so happy. I did listen to the liberty programme and I will keep listening to it over and over to make sure I have finally moved on.

Love to you Burt xx
and Thank you I am so grateful to you
and to all these fantastic people on your blog for helping me realise there are people out there that have been through tough times too.
Love to you all Julie.xx

By: Carla

Carla — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 01:41:36 +0000

Dear Yves,

I know you think I hate you, but that is far from the truth. The truth is that I can no longer live with your lies, deceit and abuse. I truly wanted our marriage to work. I truly gave it my all, but you are simply not capable of a relationship. Not with me, not with anyone. I know that I am not perfect and I know that on occasion I must have frustrated you, but you were angry an awful lot, more than I deserved. I was so desperate for you to love me, and I tried really hard. I kept thinking that if I could fix things, I just had to be more perfect and figure out how to please you, but it never worked, you were so angry, so full of hatred and I was always walking on eggshells, never knowing what would set you off. I realize now that happiness comes from within and that it’s not something that I can ever give to another if they don’t first carry love and peace in their heart. I realized that I don’t have enough for both of us, that it takes the work of two to make a relationship work and that you never ever valued our relationship enough to work on it. I didn’t abandon you, it was you who left me years ago, I have simply come to a point in my life where I have accepted it and am ready to move on.

Yves, I forgive you for all the times that you lied to me. I forgive you for all the affairs you had. I forgive you for the harassment I endured from your girlfriends, for all the times they called and then hung up when I answered, many times after midnight. I forgive you for years of verbal abuse. You will probably never know how hard that was on me. You will never know how you damaged my self esteem and made me unproductive. I am only just starting to heal now. I forgive you for all the times you called me useless and stupid. I forgive you for the times you said my breasts weren't big enough, that I didn't kiss like one of your lovers, that I was too fat, too skinny, didn't make enough money. I forgive you for the physical abuse. I forgive you for threatening to kill me. I forgive you for banging my head against concrete. I forgive you for pulling my hair so hard that I had a headache for a week. I forgive you for pulling an entire closet and shelving down on top of me. I forgive you for breaking down my door. I forgive you for the trauma you inflicted on me and the damage that it’s done to my health. I forgive you for the fact that I am now suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome because of your abuse. I am sorry that I had to call the police. I feel horrible that I had to get a no contact order in place to feel safe, and I am sorry for the stress that action has caused you. However, I hope that you understand that I needed to take action to feel safe again, that it is not right that the person who vowed to love me most is the person whom I fear the most. I am sorry for the times that I wronged you. I am sorry for feeling anger at you. At the same time, you were making me become a person that I didn't like or respect. You treated me with disrespect and because your behavior was so deplorable, I could no longer respect you either. You did all these acts without my permission, encouragement or consent. Those things were not my fault and even though it is difficult, I will get through it. I am a good person who is worthy of being treated well and deserving of love. To become the person I once was, full of joy and happiness, I had to cut such negativity out of my life. You were that negativity. I am sorry if cutting you out of my life has hurt you. I hope that one day you will understand that to save my own life that I had to walk away from you. I wish you the best in life. I hope that you can learn something from your experiences and someday move on to have a fulfilling life. I wish you peace and hope that someday you can find happiness without inflicting pain on others. Truly, I wish you well. Thank you for the lessons you have taught me. Farewell.

Carla

By: Caroline

Caroline — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 01:51:49 +0000

Hi Burt,

Thank you for this suggestion. I put this off for so long, and only just looked up this page again to give it a go.

Writing it helped, taking a weight off of my chest.

I will e-mail it to myself to remind me, so I can read it again if I start feeling negative about the person again.

Thank you once more.

By: Kenny

Kenny — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:32:23 +0000

high Burt,happy thanks giving christmas and almost-new-year thank you for one,all of the meditation u have givin us(especially the free ones!) it is true that such a small thing can cause a big impact

if u remove the smallest card on the bottom of the tower of cards the tower stil falls.

i have a question that one i hope u will find and read and 2 answer

well, i have been having trouble making vivid images in my mind,i can make a picture,a good one but i have to focus on nothing but that picture,and its hard for me to sustain it,i can create very reaistic pictures but it takes a while and somtimes it goes away....can u help?

ironically i finally decided to ask u after the meditation where u ask questions to your different personallitys, and well i did, i was told to not think of it as many different sections,but one picture,focus on one thing and just add stuff to it.but it is difficult for me,maybe i need practice.

and is it supposed to fell like a conversation with them because it feel s to me like me just thinking it up in the back of my head.

by the way an example of my picture problems is when i was creating the table and me sitting with the other five mees there one,i couldnt get them all detailed,two i was having trouble getting a picture of my face..it would keep on looking like my cousins or a freind of mines.

thanks for all of the help,hope u continue to get better and better

also sorry for asking a question on this little area,i dont know where im supposed to ask questions except here

once again thanks

By: Daisy Lee

Daisy Lee — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:30:03 +0000

Hi Bert, my past is very full of very deep abuse issues. I have forgiven most of them. I agree a small letter will help lift the rest of the issues of forgiveness of others. However, fortunately or unfortunately, I was born with a heart that knew how to love unconditionally and to forgive. What I didn't know was how to set boundaries to stop the abuse. Your story did trigger me to recall one person that I have not forgiven fully. That would be me. Me - for allowing. Me - for learning how to have the strength to keep standing back up and forgiving again and again. I have forgiven them. I am still angry, very angry with me. So I guess I'll apply your advice to that. Thanks Bert. from Daisy and the Angels.