Comments on: The Other Side Of The Coin http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:52:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: sondra http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-28965 sondra Fri, 18 Feb 2011 18:11:12 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-28965 My problem isn't in your list of negatives. Mine is being brought up to believe in duty. It is my "duty" to take care of my parents, children and husband. (Even though my parents divorced when I was 8 years old and I was raised by my grandparents). I have FMS (FMA) and am not in good health at the moment, but I do all I can to take care of my mother who is very demanding and help my husband take care of his 94 year father. I can't walk away from these "duties" though I would like to, but the guilt will not let me. My mother is in very early stages of Parkinson, but refuses to leave her home for a care facility or to live with us so we had to leave our home and move in with her. My father-in-law also refuses to leave his home and lives 300 miles away and my husband has to go see to him at least twice a month. If I have to go, we have to hire someone to stay with mother since she reported us for leaving her alone at night. We also have the financial responsibility of our BPD granddaughter who is trying to go to college and lives with anyone she can except us. The stress load is huge, but it is a self-imposed stress load in many ways. I have to find a way to lessen it without making my life worse from the guilt of deserting those I feel a duty to take care of. I have no life other than theirs and it is weighing heavy on my marriage as well on my health and spiritual endurance. Most of what I read or hear in your sessions I already know. I've already studied most all of the things you are teaching, but going over them again with you will help me to maintain until I come through this trial period and out the other side. If you have any other suggestions, I'm open. Thanks Burt :o) My problem isn't in your list of negatives. Mine is being brought up to believe in duty. It is my "duty" to take care of my parents, children and husband. (Even though my parents divorced when I was 8 years old and I was raised by my grandparents). I have FMS (FMA) and am not in good health at the moment, but I do all I can to take care of my mother who is very demanding and help my husband take care of his 94 year father. I can't walk away from these "duties" though I would like to, but the guilt will not let me. My mother is in very early stages of Parkinson, but refuses to leave her home for a care facility or to live with us so we had to leave our home and move in with her. My father-in-law also refuses to leave his home and lives 300 miles away and my husband has to go see to him at least twice a month. If I have to go, we have to hire someone to stay with mother since she reported us for leaving her alone at night. We also have the financial responsibility of our BPD granddaughter who is trying to go to college and lives with anyone she can except us. The stress load is huge, but it is a self-imposed stress load in many ways. I have to find a way to lessen it without making my life worse from the guilt of deserting those I feel a duty to take care of. I have no life other than theirs and it is weighing heavy on my marriage as well on my health and spiritual endurance.
Most of what I read or hear in your sessions I already know. I've already studied most all of the things you are teaching, but going over them again with you will help me to maintain until I come through this trial period and out the other side. If you have any other suggestions, I'm open.
Thanks Burt :o )

]]> By: gizella http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-26831 gizella Sun, 02 Jan 2011 19:00:22 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-26831 I wasnt supposed to be born, this was reinforced by mother father brother sister which set me up to believe I was stupid unworthy and deserved the worst in life. It has been reinforced by peers and educators alike. Though I survived three deaths..flatelined and was revived, I still sit in isolation and poverty eventhough I feel like the richest person in the world in spirit. I encounter resistance everywhere I go and everything I try. ( resistance from others to be) I have achieved many things including being cured of cancer and asperger by prayer and meditation. I believe I am destined for great accomplishments,I just dont know what it is I am to accomplish that is so great? I feel socially isolated, been in my government funded apartment 11 years and emmancipated from the family for telling the truth about being sexually abused by a family member. I am alone in my backyard, shunned by family and extended persons who know family. I am an embarressment to them all. I do not believe this of myself yet I am dealing with a thousand persons to one I am outnumbered in the flesh. I wonder why I survived three deaths in one life so far? More questions than answers. I wasnt supposed to be born, this was reinforced by mother father brother sister which set me up to believe I was stupid unworthy and deserved the worst in life. It has been reinforced by peers and educators alike. Though I survived three deaths..flatelined and was revived, I still sit in isolation and poverty eventhough I feel like the richest person in the world in spirit. I encounter resistance everywhere I go and everything I try. ( resistance from others to be)
I have achieved many things including being cured of cancer and asperger by prayer and meditation. I believe I am destined for great accomplishments,I just dont know what it is I am to accomplish that is so great? I feel socially isolated, been in my government funded apartment 11 years and emmancipated from the family for telling the truth about being sexually abused by a family member. I am alone in my backyard, shunned by family and extended persons who know family. I am an embarressment to them all. I do not believe this of myself yet I am dealing with a thousand persons to one I am outnumbered in the flesh. I wonder why I survived three deaths in one life so far? More questions than answers.

]]> By: nikki http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-23722 nikki Fri, 17 Sep 2010 17:00:29 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-23722 I believe I'm too stupid and unworthy to be in a happy relationship or to be financially successful..My beloved mother instilled this belief in me when I was just a young girl followed by my mentally and physically abusive husband of 12 yrs. I've read every self-help book known to man but I still can't get past this negative belief system...Please help me.. I believe I'm too stupid and unworthy to be in a happy relationship or to be financially successful..My beloved mother instilled this belief in me when I was just a young girl followed by my mentally and physically abusive husband of 12 yrs. I've read every self-help book known to man but I still can't get past this negative belief system...Please help me..

]]> By: Fred in Ontario, Canada http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-19143 Fred in Ontario, Canada Sat, 15 May 2010 18:11:31 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-19143 I can't believe that any woman that I want would want me. I've always had this belief even though I know that I'm no less deserving than anyone else. The times that I've been involved with a woman I allow the relationship to die of neglect or allow myself to be relegated to the function of friend while some other guy comes along and fills the position I wanted to be in. Feelings of unworthiness, unloveability, and fear all add up to cause me to "believe" that I will never have anyone to love in an exclusive relationship. After a while I just quit trying but unfortunately that doesn't stop me from having feelings of attraction. That's the hell of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I could stop being attracted to women. Even when you try to avoid them the world finds a way of making you deal with the issues that you came into this life to deal with. I can't believe that any woman that I want would want me. I've always had this belief even though I know that I'm no less deserving than anyone else. The times that I've been involved with a woman I allow the relationship to die of neglect or allow myself to be relegated to the function of friend while some other guy comes along and fills the position I wanted to be in. Feelings of unworthiness, unloveability, and fear all add up to cause me to "believe" that I will never have anyone to love in an exclusive relationship. After a while I just quit trying but unfortunately that doesn't stop me from having feelings of attraction. That's the hell of it. It wouldn't be so bad if I could stop being attracted to women. Even when you try to avoid them the world finds a way of making you deal with the issues that you came into this life to deal with.

]]> By: bon http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-17547 bon Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:43:27 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-17547 I think the main thing that holds me back is the belief that only those the women who are beautiful have relationships. Only the beautiful girls are loved. I'm not even remotely attractive so I'll never have anyone love me. And if someone does, they are only pretending to love me -- they have other motives or are just with me because they can't have the person they really want to be with. I think the main thing that holds me back is the belief that only those the women who are beautiful have relationships. Only the beautiful girls are loved. I'm not even remotely attractive so I'll never have anyone love me. And if someone does, they are only pretending to love me -- they have other motives or are just with me because they can't have the person they really want to be with.

]]> By: David Pillsbury http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-15539 David Pillsbury Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:26:40 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-15539 When it comes to self esteem and intimacy I would rate myself a frustrated 5 (between 1-10). In some ways I am my own worst enemy and while I know it, I have not yet overcome this. For me, knowing my problem does not resolve it. Yet people like me (probably more than I do myself) and my wife loves me (yet I find it hard to understand why). I am enjoying life BUT I know I could be enjoying mind-blowing intimacy and savoring the regards of my friends - if I allowed myself to so indulge. When it comes to self esteem and intimacy I would rate myself a frustrated 5 (between 1-10). In some ways I am my own worst enemy and while I know it, I have not yet overcome this. For me, knowing my problem does not resolve it. Yet people like me (probably more than I do myself) and my wife loves me (yet I find it hard to understand why). I am enjoying life BUT I know I could be enjoying mind-blowing intimacy and savoring the regards of my friends - if I allowed myself to so indulge.

]]> By: vonna http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-15535 vonna Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:39:50 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-15535 I was always told it's a great life if it don't weaken. money is the root of all evil. We may be poor but at least we're clean. you have to work for everything in this life and nothing comes free. plus my parents were hard workers but hated anything that involved education. We weren't allowed to do homework. they always said, that's what I send you to school for. So I really never had any support like that as a child. my childhood was always a struggle. But the one positive thing that sticks with me is mom always said love one another. I was always told it's a great life if it don't weaken. money is the root of all evil. We may be poor but at least we're clean. you have to work for everything in this life and nothing comes free. plus my parents were hard workers but hated anything that involved education. We weren't allowed to do homework. they always said, that's what I send you to school for. So I really never had any support like that as a child. my childhood was always a struggle. But the one positive thing that sticks with me is mom always said love one another.

]]> By: Roy http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-13641 Roy Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:53:00 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-13641 My biggest believe that is holding me back is all the knowledge I have, I have become a (want a be) A knower yet not a doer. I feel that I am begin led away from a way to share my understanding of life. on how my life should be. It is limitation I put on my self that I am happy knowing but not happy producing, inless I am on a team. It is hard to find a team that sees the same as I do. Believes are opinions and Knowlegde is also in the mind not only in the phyical world. There is more truths in the spiritual world then Religion or Science put together. My fault with this is acceptance without works and creation. the last box will be when I explain or re-explain the concept of the spiritual totalness. My biggest believe that is holding me back is all the knowledge I have, I have become a (want a be) A knower yet not a doer. I feel that I am begin led away from a way to share my understanding of life. on how my life should be. It is limitation I put on my self that I am happy knowing but not happy producing, inless I am on a team. It is hard to find a team that sees the same as I do. Believes are opinions and Knowlegde is also in the mind not only in the phyical world. There is more truths in the spiritual world then Religion or Science put together. My fault with this is acceptance without works and creation. the last box will be when I explain or re-explain the concept of the spiritual totalness.

]]> By: Shannon http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-4/#comment-13638 Shannon Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:43:09 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-13638 This is really cool. And also quite difficult. Thanks Burt, because I think doing that questionnaire helped me realize a very negative belief I've had for a very long time: "my family can never understand me". Sometimes it gets more negative and turns into things like: "my family uses me" "my family tries to manipulate me" "my family tries to force me to stop being happy". It would seem logical to assume these beliefs came out of things that went on with my family, but what if they came from somewhere else? That seems at least as likely. Do you have any advice on ways to identify where you got beliefs? And I think a lot of you might find this technique extremely helpful in getting rid of negative beliefs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY I've done a lot with this and found it to be a huge relief and a huge help. I recommend it to practically everyone. Also, if you know of a specific incident that led to a negative belief, you could try this technique to get rid of the feelings even faster: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXdQNA3aEk&feature=channel Also very helpful, and maybe 4 or 5x as fast as the first one. This is really cool. And also quite difficult. Thanks Burt, because I think doing that questionnaire helped me realize a very negative belief I've had for a very long time: "my family can never understand me". Sometimes it gets more negative and turns into things like: "my family uses me" "my family tries to manipulate me" "my family tries to force me to stop being happy". It would seem logical to assume these beliefs came out of things that went on with my family, but what if they came from somewhere else? That seems at least as likely. Do you have any advice on ways to identify where you got beliefs?

And I think a lot of you might find this technique extremely helpful in getting rid of negative beliefs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY

I've done a lot with this and found it to be a huge relief and a huge help. I recommend it to practically everyone. Also, if you know of a specific incident that led to a negative belief, you could try this technique to get rid of the feelings even faster:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXdQNA3aEk&feature=channel

Also very helpful, and maybe 4 or 5x as fast as the first one.

]]> By: Sandra http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/the-other-side-of-the-coin/comment-page-3/#comment-13419 Sandra Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:29:09 +0000 http://blog.theamericanmonk.com/?p=471#comment-13419 I believe I'm to stupid to be successful. I believe my mother was the first to instill this in me, followed by my husband. If there is any thing I can do about it, I would like to know what, because I don't have a clue. Blue Skies, Sandy I believe I'm to stupid to be successful.
I believe my mother was the first to instill this in me, followed by my husband.
If there is any thing I can do about it, I would like to know what, because I don't have a clue.

Blue Skies,
Sandy

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