Comments on: This Can’t Go On

By: free trial

free trial — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:24:20 +0000

After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!

By: Justyn Vallori

Justyn Vallori — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:12:52 +0000

I do agree with your concepts but I’ve lived alone for a number of years.

By: kenny

kenny — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 01:56:53 +0000

You should most likely know me by now, im am the 13-now 14 year old.

My parents have been together then divorced twice and my mom tells me it is because of ill-comunication.I also beleive that but not only due to her telling me.I beleive that if one partner has a problem the other should try to comfort her/him.This, in my opinion, should solve most problems.it shlould also bring them closer.Just communicate whether the problems yours or theirs.But dont whine, that seems to be part of my dad’s annoyance.It agrravates your partner when you whine to them so dont go to them like “*sad sigh* my back is aching because of all the hard wark i do” or anything like that, acually try to have a conversation, not a demand to be babied.

But thats my opinion

By: Harold

Harold — Mon, 25 May 2009 18:25:16 +0000

.… and there are those of us not in a relationship to fix. I like your suggestions anyway and will try them when I am, again, in a relationship.

By: Linda B

Linda B — Sun, 24 May 2009 12:41:51 +0000

I have been married for almost 7 years. My husband is
from another country, and lives there. The idea of
getting married was for him to move here. At first, it
was wonderful! Great sex, great relationship, mutual
respect, and very loving. He visited often.
As soon as we married, (2 years into the relationship),
things changed…immediately. On our honeymoon, we had
no sex. He had no interest whatsoever. He made excuses
like “I’m tired”, or whatever.
It’s been like that ever since. Meanwhile, I discovered
he had been on dating sites, acting like a single guy
and meeting women. I also saw emails, to and from him
with women, telling each other about the great sex
they’ve been having. Some were very explicit. He
denied all of it. When I told him I SAW it, he told
me they meant nothing to him and I should just forget
about it.
When he visited me, he would be here the whole summer,
(he’s a teacher), and we’d have sex maybe once or
twice. Did I mention he is VERY sexual? After I “caught him”, it was worse, and the
visits were rare. He never wanted me to go to where he
lives, and now I know why. Many times I would book a
trip, and he’d go into some kind of panic and cancel it. I know he is still doing it. He makes excuse after
excuse, and keeps telling me he is coming “home”. How
long am I supposed to wait for this to happen? He
hasn’t been here for 2 years now, and I haven’t seen
him in over a year, when I last went there. I saw signs of
cheating while I was there, too…sneaking off to call
or text, hiding his cell phone, and NO SEX with me. I
also saw pictures of another woman when he got careless ONCE with his cell phone…Pictures of her and her bare breasts! I didn’t tell him I saw it.
We talk on the phone often, but that doesn’t cut it
any more. Actually, I texted one of the girls I saw on
his cell phone listed as “Ned”. I hadn’t heard from
him for 3 days, and took the chance of seeing what he
was up to. It turned out he was with her! He cut my
cell phone off immediately, (canceled my account).
He was supposed to have broken up with all these people 5 months beforehand. He promised me he did.
He breaks promises, lies, but tells me he loves me
and I’m still his soul mate? He said he had a hard
time having sex with me because he felt guilt.
I know this is a very long message, but I could go on
and on…Am I nuts to love a man who does these things? My logical self says “DUMP HIM”, but my heart
says “I can’t”. The mental and emotional suffering has
been excruciating.
I’m 55, he’s 56, and it’s the second marriage for both. My last husband was abusive. His last wife saw
other women.

By: Gruber Elisabeth

Gruber Elisabeth — Sat, 23 May 2009 21:39:40 +0000

I am 59 years young. Married, have two kids. My husband was 70 years young. 15 years ago he had an operation at his intervertebral discs. Since that time we don’t make sex any more. I must say I wasn’t that eager anyway as it never was very fullfilling. I must say, I think it was my fault, as I couldn’t really let go and relax. Even if I make your meditations, I can’t see the things and I am not sure if I really get into alpha level. I do hope.
Thanks for answering. Love and light Elisabeth

By: Seija

Seija — Sat, 23 May 2009 10:52:51 +0000

Hi Burt,

thirty eight years of marriage behind. Very happy beginning, two kids and major projects and traveling together. Sex was great for a long time,but started fading away on my side during the past 6–7 years until I told my spouse some three years ago that I did not want to have sex with him any more. I just did not like it. He was devasteted but that’s how we have been going on since then. I do feel attracted to other men (never had anybody else — he has had, at least two “girlfriends” during our marriage) and could be totally ‘capable’ of having sex. We are both fit and and healthy at 60 and 63. I feel that I need distance from him even though he is not at all a bad person, rather quite the opposite. Divorce is not an alternative. Any advice??

By: Heide

Heide — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:26:04 +0000

hello Burt
I met somebody 4 weeks ago, I feel very attracted to him. I do not want anymory falling in Love, but growing,.. We have spend a night together,.…but
his body is not in the shape to satisfiet my needs. When I met him, he was very sick and I gave gim a transfert of energy.
I have a strong sexual fire in me, I do not want to opened to much.
I just feel, its not healthy to have sex, when the body cannot response. I proposed him to give a massage, to get back in his body, but I haven‘t got an answer.
So, I‘m using visualizing, speaking to my feelings and sens. as you told.….
trustfully
Heide

By: TH

TH — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:12:33 +0000

It appears that those of us who are commenting are in one of two demographics: in something of a stale relationship/marriage and as such in a position to benefit from these pledges, or despairing of ever having a suitable and inspiring relationship/marriage, perhaps because we’ve had problems in past relationships or because we feel isolated from the possibility of meeting that one special person who we complete and who completes us. I’m definitely in this latter category. In past relationships, and especially my most recent one, IO thought I wa sdoing what needed to be done, putting in the effort to admire the person I was with and to bring value to her life. My astonished regret is that as it turned out I put too much effort in, was too giving and in the end opened myself to abuse. And the abuse continues: we went from prefessing our love and desire for each other to her refusing contacvt with me. I still dream about what we promised wse would share with each other, and am still dismayingly hoping it could be possible.
So these pledges are a very good idea, even if only one of you make them. Unfortunately, though, even then the path of togetherness can be impossible to predict.

By: Fred Christall

Fred Christall — Fri, 22 May 2009 09:54:18 +0000

I fall into an odd category — was category No 1; happily married for 32 years and my wife passed away October 2008.

The first 25 years had the ups and downs but we worked through them. The big change came when my wife realised that sex is a mental activity with a physical response.

We came to value the mental appreciation of each other. the touching and physical stroking; and yes our sex life improved and was more regular.

At 67 years young I am adapting to a single life again.